The Dream

Trying to get into the attic—
but the room was upside down.
I had to squeeze in under the sagging ceiling,
but it scraped my back,
and I was naked.

When I came downstairs,
the party had started.
The house was a mess.
The floor was covered in shite.

I shouted at everyone:
“Get out!”

—

I wanted to boil the kettle,
but something was wrong.
I traced the cord back
to the plug in the wall—
it was behind the cabinet.

I dragged the cabinet away from the wall,
furious.

—

I noticed people had bought me presents—
lots of plants,
and terracotta pots.

I could feel the rough unglazed clay
through the wrapping paper.

The Meaning

attic
A higher space containing insight and memory.
Accessing that part of me is disorienting and painful.
I’m trying to rise, but the structure won’t let me.

party
Everything’s already in motion.
I didn’t set the tone, but I’m left to clean it.
No more tolerating the shit other people drag in.

kettle
I want to restore comfort, warmth, nourishment.
The power is blocked—hidden behind heavy furniture.
It’s labour to get to the source. And I’m furious.

gifts
Amidst the wreck there are signs of care.
Practical, earthy, rooted things.
The clay is rough—unglazed.
This is growth that comes with grit.

What Lingers…

What if access to insight requires discomfort?

What if grounded growth comes wrapped in grit, not ease?

---

Marginalia

This dream belongs to a theme of unearthing secrets and facing what’s uncomfortable, echoing The Body in the Greenhouse and The House That Contains Everything. But here, there’s a pivot: before, I stood alone in the work. Now, there are signs—and with them, an acceptance of nurture from others. In waking life, I’m on holiday, enjoying life with my family.