The Dream
I had been staying
in someone’s house.
They were returning
soon.
I was cleaning up
for their arrival.
I was
frantic.
Changing beds,
tidying everything.
I wanted it
to be
spick and span.
The Meaning
occupying space
I’m occupying space that isn’t fully mine. Temporarily. Carefully. This a recurring theme for me: negotiating borrowed spaces. This isn’t just a house—it’s a metaphor for my role in someone else’s life or system.
over-cleaning
I’m not just tidying. I’m atoning. Preemptively trying to eliminate guilt, judgment, or perceived messiness before the owners even walk through the door. This is emotional hyper-vigilance dressed in dusting gloves.
erasure
I’m trying to leave no trace of my presence. Even though I’ve been here and lived here. I’m trying to disappear cleanly, like a considerate ghost.
What Lingers…
What if presence didn’t need to be minimised, only inhabited?
What if disappearing neatly is just another way of asking for forgiveness without being heard?
Marginalia
Whether in real life, dreams, or under celestial influence, I’m beginning to understand the impact of presence in someone else’s life.
My children, my partners, my nieces and nephews—the responsibility for the energetic and physical mess I leave in someone else’s lap is starting to land, especially as I consider the mess left in mine by others. Some of whom I’ve never even known.
