The Dream

I was outside,
under a tarp.

It was raining—
relentlessly.

A leak
in the roof.

I made something
to drain the water away.

The rain
intensified.

Eventually,
the water was overflowing—

even the drain
I built
couldn’t handle it.

The Meaning

the tarp
Attempting to protect myself from being emotionally flooded. I hide under temporary protection but this is thin, makeshift and exposed.

the leak
The emotions are being managed. Even though they’re leaking through the tarp, I attempt to problem solve them away with structure and practicality.

the overflow
The feelings are too much. Even the systems in place to stop them from becoming overwhelming can’t cope.

What Lingers…

What if no structure can hold what needs to be felt?

What if overflow isn’t failure, but the truth finally arriving?

Marginalia

It feels like a big responsibility, digging into ancestry that was meant to remain unknown. This dream carries the weight of that. I think of the rain as my Nan and Mum—both of whom either didn’t want, or don’t care, to dig up this past.

But for me, even though it’s their story, it’s mine too.

I’ve learned that simply giving these stories air makes them lighter. What was heavy in silence begins to lose its weight when spoken.

And whatever their reasons for not looking, I want to say: it’s OK. I understand.

You can read our story [here].